angst - march 27th, 2008

everything
is a reminder

the wrinkles
on the
car seat cover

the position
you changed
of the
tobacco holder
in the
living room

the streets
of rendezvous
that i
drive though
everyday


pictures hidden
in folders
not to be
uploaded for
public consumption

the chocolates
we chose
in the little
fairy tale shop

the music
you gave me
now awaits
your recognition
of the raaga
it contains

mountain dreams
of paris..
of seeing
though my veneer

you knew
didn't you..
when i would
prattle on
about little
tiny snatches
of a life
we shared..

or so i thought..

did you laugh?
pity ?
confusion ?
or..nothing ?


even now
i wonder..
i have reason not
to feel
this way
and yet..

the body weeps
for what
the mind
knows is not so..

so.. will it be ..
that i
move beyond ?
or will you
come back
before i can
harden myself ?

the wallow in angst mood..

has triggered off these..

I
benares..
one year ago
spring aches

II
your words
now alaphabet jumbles
you gave us away

III
your pain spawns
poetry
that came
with you

an old transcreation...

raat

raat ke
kaale saaye ne
aise gheraa
tumhaare ehsaas
ki taveez
ko bhi na chuu saki




night

night's darkness
swallowed -
i couldn't
even feel
the talisman
of your
being
within me

march 11th 2008

the wise one
knows me
to be
your constant
so why
do i hunger
to be
your change ??